"On Sept. 11, my husband, Peter, died in the World Trade Center. He was a firefighter, and he was doing his job."

Those are the words Regan Grice-Vega used to get the awful fact out of the way, the words she used to open her speech to the AFT's Women's Issues Conference on March 10--just one day before marking the six months following the terrorist attacks on America.

Talking to people like those gathered at the AFT conference is part of her job now, says Grice-Vega. Her message: "We have not fought hard enough for our own children and families."

Grice-Vega's plea was born, in part, out of the circumstances that never allowed her, her baby, Ruby, and her husband to spend enough time together--because of the same kind of conflicting work schedules that plague 40 percent of working women. The P.S. 372 teacher from Brooklyn who specializes in conflict resolution urged that both the union and the country make paid family leave a priority.

"When I think about the last days with Peter, I think of our baby daughter and the joy she brought but also about our juggling schedules to be together. Paid family leave would have helped," said Grice-Vega. "Peter's 24-hour shifts and mandatory overtime didn't leave a lot of time to be together." Twelve weeks of unpaid maternity leave, to which she was entitled, was not a financial option, she added.

"Peter and I finally realized our best option was 'baby relay'... and we never got enough time together. We knew there should be a better way," Grice-Vega said. "I really know that now."

Listing the countries that provide paid maternity leave, Grice-Vega pointed out that the United States was not on the list. "A nation with family values really does not support its families."

In their last few days together as a family, the Grice-Vegas went to the beach one Saturday. "Peter lifted Ruby above his head and said, 'Now I know bliss.'" With tears in her eyes, Grice-Vega said she wished that she had had more time like that with Peter.

The loss has been great for the teacher. Not only did she lose what all Americans lost--a sense of safety and security in everyday life--she also lost a husband and partner, a man with whom she was just beginning a life and a marriage, a father to a child too young to have any real memory of her dad. The loss has been so great that she has been unable to return to teaching, at least for the remainder of the year. Having finally figured out the way to paste together sick leave and sabbatical leave, Grice-Vega is getting the time she so dearly wanted with her family. However, the time will be spent without the person for whom that time would have been precious.

"This country is searching for ways to honor people," said Grice-Vega. "The AFT can join the fight for family values--it would be a fit and lovely memorial."