Pomp or circumstance--take your pick

Nearly everyone has probably been to one. You know, those no-holds-barred, let-the-band-play-on extravaganzas with hundreds of guests that (incidentally) include a wedding. There seems to be a phenomenon in our country of ever-larger celebrations at can you top this locales: from aboard a cruise ship to the rim of a volcano to a mountain meadow.

I stumbled across an article not long ago by Hank Ezell (Cox News Service) that put this phenomenon into focus. In 1997, the average cost of a wedding in this country was slightly more than $19,000. That included the reception, rings, flowers and some other small stuff. On the other end of the scale are those really big social events that exceed $100,000ัthe downtown hotel, the 10-piece orchestra, sit-down dinner, champagne, open bar and the designer cake that resembles something uncovered at a Mayan ruin.

As we approach the traditional month of weddings, I want to preach some sanity--and frugality--in this process. Short of eloping, there must be a better way to handle the wedding celebration without diminishing the importance of the day. As you might expect, this all comes full circle to an investment tip, so stay tuned.

In most cases, the bride and groom are both struggling with debt, be it college loans, car payments or credit card balances, and the couple probably sees no immediate way to buy a house or adequately merge their financial lives.

But what would happen if some modifications were made to the wedding plans? Sure, some friends won't be able to attend, light snacks may have to replace the sit-down dinner, and the entire sorority may not be asked to stand at the altar with the bride, but, hey, it's only one day!

If the "savings" were diverted into a fairly aggressive stock fund and allowed to grow for a long time, the newlyweds could be sitting on a nice nest egg before long. Or they might be making a down payment on a first home.

Even if the money didn't go into an account (like a Roth IRA) where it would grow tax deferred, cutting back the cost of rings, reception and photography by one-half would let the young couple invest $6,500 dollars. Maybe a lot more.

If the newlyweds maintained a 10 percent return on their investment for 10 years, they would have $12,316 after taxes. After 20 years (about the time Junior is ready for college), they would be sitting on more than $23,000; in 30 years, it's $44,000; and in 40 years the value of that one-day "sacrifice" would have grown to nearly $84,000.

So, what's it going to be, trade off a little less pomp for a lot more circumstance later? Or throw a big party for a bunch of people you probably won't even speak to in 20 years instead of taking early retirement?

"Frugality at the altar is not a revolutionary idea," Ezell says. "With people marrying later these days, it is not unusual for the couple to split expenses with their parents. That encourages careful budgeting" (and gives the bride the right to disinvite her mother's friends or dad's golfing buddies).

Annual spending on weddings in America exceeds $45 billion a year. I haven't even mentioned the cost of honeymoons. A nice, quiet weekend at a country inn rather than the all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii could easily translate into the keys to that first home.

What better wedding gift could a parent give a newlywed child than an introduction into the world of investing and compound interest or early homeownership?

The trick isn't committing to a scaled-down version of your dream wedding (or the one you want for your daughter); it's actually coming up with the cash. Although you could charge many of the wedding expenses, the investment has to be made with real money. Then the lucky couple has to have the discipline to invest it in a place where it can grow untouched for a reasonable period.

In his article, Hank Ezell makes the point that this is made easier "if all the family members agree on it." An engaged couple will have a hard time controlling costs if the bride's mom insists on a showy event or the groom's dad invites tons of business associates.

"If that's the problem, the question becomes one that a lot of couples must struggle with: Whose wedding is it, anyway? And whose future?"

American Federation of Teachers, AFL•CIO - 555 New Jersey Avenue, NW - Washington, DC 20001